Today, for the first time in nearly two years, (yes, years), I dug out my 10-year old HP laptop. After cleaning off some coffee stains (whoops!), I opened it, checked my email (a simple task which took a GOOD LONG TIME since my poor old computer is showing its age), and then, on a whim, decided to dust off my blog. I have been thinking (and talking) a lot lately about writing. In the fall of 2017, when I was unemployed and had literally nothing to do with my days except read, go to the gym, check Facebook, and, oh yes, apply for a job or two!, three things happened:
1.) I lost at least 10 pounds. For the first time in years, my weight no longer started with a 22, a 23, or a 24. My clothes were baggy. I was eating healthy. I was cooking. It was great...while it lasted.
2.) I read constantly. I think I managed to read seven books during the month of November 2017. Usually I manage maybe two per month, so this was impressive for me.
3.) Writing happened! I created Living on Coffee and Sarcasm and wrote my first short story, of which I was and still am immensely proud. And then I kept the momentum going by writing some more (book reviews, mostly, but it was a start!)
And then I stopped doing all of those things.
Why? Simple: I became re-employed. Consequently, three things happened:
1.) I gained those 10 pounds back, and they brought some friends! (sigh)
2.) I had money again! (Which was useful, because I now had something to blow my nose on while crying about how fat I had gotten.)
3.) I stopped writing. It didn't happen all at once; I still kept up my book reviews for OnlineBookClub.org, and the occasional Tumblr book review, but LoCaS took a back burner. I had posted all of two entries. Two.
Those of you who know me well and/or have been following my writing attempts in past years are...probably not especially shocked by this. I do love to write, and I like to think I don't completely suck at it, but I have a tiny bit of a problem with the whole follow through thing. I get ideas in my head and then forget to take them out, and my blog(s) stay(s) inactive for years (remember Stories Sung by Sara?) until I catch the writing bug again, create a whole new blog, and the cycle repeats. It's a problem.
Today, though, while perusing my two blog entries (The Madness Descends and my review for J.K Rowling's The Casual Vacancy -- seriously, just read the book!), I realized two things:
1.) Okay, I am pretty f*cking hilarious.
2.) People. actually. read. my stuff. (Possibly because of #1???).
Seriously, I was expecting maybe a handful of views on each of my blog posts (five or six, tops), but my Casual Vacancy review had 62 views (OK BUT HOW MANY OF YOU ACTUALLY READ THE BOOK. SHOW OF HANDS PLEASE) and The Madness Descends was viewed 123 times! The fact that, like, 20 of those were probably me is IRRELEVANT; THE POINT IS that people actually read my writing! What a revelation!
Thus inspired, I sat down to write. I didn't know what to write about, so I decided to write about how I haven't been writing, and, well, here we are.
To those who read my blog posts, no matter how many, er, years pass between them, my most heartfelt thanks. I could say "I promise to write more!," but I know that is a promise I cannot keep (well, not unless someone out there who really likes my writing wants to buy me a new laptop...Christmas is coming, after all!). I could say, "I promise to try to write more!," but that also seems a bit like setting myself up for failure. So, for now, I will simply say this:
I promise I want to write more. That is the only promise I can keep right now.
I hope it's enough, dear friends.
